Addiction

I feel like I upset her



Enhanced Member Question and Answer

From: 3loves Enhanced Member
Submitted: 2024-01-07 16:36

Question: We’ve been good friends since high school. Recently I feel like I upset her but didn’t mean to. She means a lot to me. Her and her husband came to see me after my mother passed. He was walking around complaining about his foot and ankle. I offered him a pain pill nothing strong and he accepted. He left and text me asking for more and she got really upset. I had no idea he has been in trouble with the law and went to jail due to pain pill abuse. If I had known I would’ve never offered and I feel horrible. I’ve apologized many times but I feel like she’s upset still and I honestly don’t blame her. She works 6 days a week and is exhausted. Is she upset with me or just exhausted I never hear from her. We’ve always supported each other through hard times and she never contacts me. I miss her.

Answer from da Boss:

Hi, 3loves!

Spirit says your old friend is projecting her pain and her guilt rather than recognizing the fact that her behavior enabled her husband to ask you for more pills. Spirit feels she should have told you ahead of time of her husband’s problem. Trying to hide his behavior is a guarantee of slips. Also, his addiction is not her responsibility. If he wants to take drugs, she needs to let him hit bottom.

Spirit says yes, she’s upset with you, which is ridiculous. It’s not your fault. Spirit says you need to leave her space to make her own mistakes. In time, she will realize what she did and reconnect with you.

Live! Love! Bark!
OAB

When, in my controlling behavior, I do unto others as I do unto myself, we all lose. — Anne Wilson Schaef

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