“When will my ex come back?” That is the number one question asked of psychics. Many people contact psychics absolutely sure that their ex is their soul mate. They know in their hearts that they must have shared past lives, because they can feel it with every bone in their body. It’s not limited to any sort of age group or gender, either. We have had women as young as 13 years old (of course their questions were deleted) and as old as 83 asking about their exes. Males usually have a little different approach. Their first question is normally about career or money, but you can bet the second question will be about the ex. We’ve all felt those feelings, and looking back we can see that they faded over time. But, why do they happen in the first place?
Scientists have discovered that different stimuli in our lives cause our bodies to secrete different chemicals. Melatonin to help us feel sleepy when it gets dark. Serotonin makes us feel satisfied after we eat. And, we don’t want to forget those wonderful endorphins that we get during sex. An endorphin is a neuropeptide (manufactured in the brain), and science has learned that our brains manufacture many different neuropeptides to respond to our emotions. In fact, science has proven that our cells cannot tell the difference between neuropeptides and heroin. So, when you are in love with a person, your brain is constantly manufacturing these “love” neuropeptides every time you are with your lover. After the break-up your brain stops manufacturing the “love juice,” and your body goes through withdrawal. But, not realizing that it is withdrawal, we imagine some kind of spiritual connection that we think we are losing.
Sometimes that withdrawal can make us really stupid. Some of us have stalked our exes. (I heard a statistic that 1 in 7 women in the US will be stalked — that’s a lot!) Many have maxed out their credit cards calling psychics. Some refuse to let go in their minds and hearts, and the plan for the day when their lover comes back (even if it has been five years). And… some go to the doctor (or the bartender) to get medication to help them through it. Maybe someday we will actually come up with a drug to help get over a broken heart.
But, for the meantime there are things we can do to get through it. My personal favorite is a mantra, “I forgive you, (ex’s name here), and I release you to the Holy Spirit. Because, releasing you, releases me.” Speak the mantra over and over, out loud when you are alone, and silently when around others. Every time your ex comes into your mind, start the mantra… over and over again. In time, you will feel some peace, and it will help to let go of some of the really awful feelings.
Another method that my clients have reported brought them some relief was through meditation. Spend some time relaxing and getting into a comfortable meditative state through breathing, and maybe a little new age music. Take time to ground yourself. Some like to visualize roots growing down from their bodies deep into the ground. When you are comfortable, visualize yourself cutting the cords between you and your ex and sending the cords back to them. You can even attach a flower to each cord before you return it to symbolize unconditional love and detachment. Like the mantra, a single application will probably not work. You will have to meditate many, many times to bring some relief and some peace.
When we lose a loved one due to death, divorce, or a breakup, we all need to go through a process of mourning. We have to mourn the death of the relationship, the loss of so many plans and hopes. And, we must realize that another person cannot fill the empty place where our soul resides. If we can build strong bonds with our higher power, our spiritual Self, our inner knowing, our force (or even THE Force if you want), we will find that we love ourselves.
About Janet (Sparrow) Moon
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